Introduction#
And regard the suspicion of others as flickering ghost fires,
Boldly walk your own night road.
- Shi Tiesheng, "Fragments of a Sick Pen"
I took a vacation and came back to Shanxi to visit my grandmother's grave. I don't know if anyone else has had the same situation as me, but there are times when I feel restless and frustrated. During these times, things at work and in life don't go well, and I just want to temporarily return to my hometown, listen to the local dialect, and not think about the various problems of past life. Drinking tea with the elders at home, chatting with my parents, these are often a consolation for the soul.
Yellow Sand#
The yellow sand this spring is particularly severe. As far as I can remember, I always remember that my hometown was filled with the smell of chemicals because there was a chemical factory nearby. After several years of improvement, it has gotten much better, but this year's yellow sand is indeed a scene that hasn't been seen for a long time. China's efforts in desert greening are truly top-notch in the world, but this year's yellow sand from Mongolia has caused some concerns among the Chinese people. We have made great determination and efforts, shutting down many factories that do not meet the emission standards, including small businesses, causing many workers to worry about their livelihoods. Planting trees in the desert, accumulating greenery bit by bit on the map of China, but just a yellow sand from a neighboring country, riding the monsoon and roaring into the country, making the achievements of China in the past decade seem ineffective. It is truly a domestic concern and foreign trouble.
When I took the high-speed train into Shanxi, the sky was grayish-yellow, and the air was filled with the smell of soil. I don't know how long this situation will last.
Economy#
Due to economic adjustments, the pharmaceutical factory where my father works often faces closure due to the inability to pay wages. My father is already over fifty years old. In order to reduce the pressure on me to pay the mortgage, he went to the Gobi Desert to make a living. I don't know how many families in China are struggling this year, traveling all over the country for the livelihood of their families, as if they have returned to the situation 20 years ago.
I don't know how long this situation will last, but for now, I won't make any changes easily.
Struggle#
When I set off again, it started to rain, and the temperature dropped from over 30 degrees to 10 degrees. Sitting on the high-speed train heading south, watching the land outside the window change from yellow to red, the temperature gradually rose. I have walked out of that barren land, and I have also walked out of the country. My parents have worked hard there for a lifetime, and now they have encountered some changes. I don't know how many families are unaffected by these changes. We are just repeatedly crushed by life, unable to catch our breath, wiping away tears on painful nights, and continuing to strive for a living the next day.
The yellow sand fills the sky, and I only hope that the haze buried in my heart will dissipate. There will be times when the strong wind breaks the waves, and the cloud sails will sail across the vast sea.